


aristocats

by stilinskisbitch



Series: texts of the trash heap [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Getting Together, Group chat, Implied Relationships, M/M, Pictures, Screenshots, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 17:23:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4675097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stilinskisbitch/pseuds/stilinskisbitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo adds the new first years to their group chat. Yaku is not amused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	aristocats

_Kuroo has added Shibayama to aristocats_

**Yaku:**                     nono no please!

_Kuroo has added Inuoka to aristocats_

**Yaku:**                     KUROO NO  
                             I BEG YOU  
                             DON’T DO THIS TO ME

_Kuroo has added Lev to aristocats_

**Kuroo:**                   sorry bro

 **Yaku:**                      ..but are you really

 **Lev:**                        omg yaku is that u????

 **Yaku:**                      no

 **Lev:**                        i can’t believe u got a phone that’s so cool!! :)

 **Yaku:**                      yeah me neither

 **Lev:**                        yaku-san do u wanna hang out later??? :) :) :)  
                             yaku-san??

_Yaku has left aristocats_

**Kenma:**                  3 weeks.

 **Kuroo:**                    really? i’ll give them 2

 **Yamamoto:**            2 months at least

_Kuroo has added Yaku to aristocats_

**Lev:**                        ur back!!!!! :) :)

 **Noboyuki:**              ..Can I say never?

 

* * *

 

_4 days after Kuroo has added the first years_

 

  

 

* * *

 

_1 week after Kuroo has added the first years_

 

 

  

 

 

 

* * *

 

_2 weeks after Kuroo has added the first years_

 

 

 **Yaku:**                     has anyone seen lev? he’s not answering his phone

 **Yamamoto:**            goddamn first years i s2g

 **Kuroo:**                   ohohoho? ;)

 **Inuoka:**                 oh! I think I saw him chasing after a cat earlier :D

 **Yaku:**                     thanks  
                             and: extra practice, kuroo, extra practice

 **Lev:**                        yaku-san!!! i was just thinking about u!!  
                             i’ll be right there i had to stop bc i saw a cat  
                             it reminded me of u so i took a pic :)  
                             it was really small but also really cute!!!

 **Kuroo:**                    your ability to compliment and insult yaku in the same breath is really something else lev omfg

 **Lev:**                        thanks captain!! :)

 **Kuroo:**                    lev, you fuckin yaku?

 **Yamamoto:**             dear god

 **Yaku:**                      kuroo you disgusting pervert

 **Lev:**                         not yet :/

 **Yaku:**                      LEV WTF

 **Kenma:**                   told you it’s not theirs.

 **Yaku:**                      ??!?!?!!!

 **Kenma:**                   Kuroo found a condom in the locker room the other day. it’s not ours, so he thought it would be yours.

 **Yaku:**                      WELL IT’S NOT

 **Kuroo:**                     but

 **Noboyuki:**               Not mine.

 **Yamamoto:**             oh i wish

 **Kuroo:**                     BUT

 **Inuoka:**                   um

 **Shibayama:**             …oops?

 **Kenma:**                   3 weeks, Kuroo. trust me.

 **Yaku:**                      oh my god  
                              OHMY GO D

 **Kuroo:**                    here we go

 **Yaku:**                      but you’re still so YOUNG  
                              i hope you know what you’re doing oh my god  
                              PLEASE STAY SAFE

 **Shibayama:**             this is kinda embarrassing

 **Yaku:**                    CONSENT IS NOT OPTIONAL  
                             DON’T DO ANYTHING YOU’RE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH  
                             TAKE THINGS SLOW  
                             WE WILL STILL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT

 **Inuoka:**                  ok

 **Yaku:**                     AND IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS DON’T GO TO KUROO COME ASK ME OR NOBOYUKI

 **Kuroo:**                   wow thanks

 **Noboyuki:**              Why are you dragging me into this?

 **Yaku:**                     OH MY G O D

 **Inuoka:**                  thanks mum  
                             is he ok?

 **Kuroo:**                   don’t worry  
                             you should’ve heard the speech he gave me and kenma last year

 **Kenma:**                  don’t remind me.

 **Yaku:**                      SO YOU N G

 **Yamamoto:**            goddamn first years i’m tellin u

 

* * *

 

_3 weeks after Kuroo has added the first years_

 

 

 **Kuroo:**                 where are you guys?  
                             yaku, lev??

 **Lev:**                       sorry, i’ll be there soon!!

 **Yaku:**                     me 2

 **Kuroo:**                   yaku you alright? has something happened?

 **Yaku:**                     no why

 **Kuroo:**                   you're late?? you're never late…???

 **Yaku:**                     oh i  
                             overslept

 **Kuroo:**                   ok, just hurry. lev what’s up with u? seen another cat?

 **Yaku:**              no i also overslept, i’ll be there soon!!!

 **Kuroo:**                   omg  
                             …lev?

 **Yaku:**             yes???

 **Kuroo:**                   why are you using yaku’s phone

 **Yaku:**                     huh?  
                             omG

 **Kuroo:**                   ohohohoho! ;) ;) ;) ;)

 **Yaku:**                    I’M ONLY ON HIS PHONE BC HES IN THE SHOWER  
                            WE WERE HAVING  
                            …extRA PRACTICE

 **Inuoka:**                 on monday morning at 6am lmfao

 **Yamamoto:**           omfg

 **Kuroo:**                   way to go lev! I’m proud :D

 **Kenma:**                 told you. 3 weeks.

 **Kuroo:**                   you’ll get your money later kenma pls let me enjoy the moment :D :D

 **Lev:**                        D:

 ~~~~ **Yaku:**    we’ll be there in 15.  
                             better be ready to get your asses kicked for making bets :)

**Author's Note:**

> how did yaku and lev get together? the world may never know. he never said no to the date though, did he?  
> (should i stop trying to be funny? probably. will i? probably not. oh well.)
> 
> and again:  
> if you wanna chat about this fanfic, haikyuu!! or anything,  
> you can come and talk to me on tumblr! :) (stopanime2k16.tumblr.com/ask)
> 
> thanks so much for reading, feedback would be highly appreciated! <3


End file.
